What a Shitty Week in Redskins land.
First of all, let me flashback to mid-October 2006. The Redskins had just lost at the Giants, but were coming home to face the winless Titans. It was going to be a beautiful Sunday afternoon watching the game at my apartment, and when it was over, we'd be 3-3. Not great, but not horrible. Instead we blew a 14-3 lead, couldn't force any 3 and outs, and lost to be 2-4. Just sickening. Sickening with shame and loathing. So sickening that I called in sick to stay home, review documents online, and listen to sports radio all day. I have the email to prove it:
10/16/06: "The Redskins made me sick, they gave me a cold. Well, maybe they did/maybe
they didn't but it sure feels like I should stay home and listen to Redskins
radio, so that's what I decided."
I didn't call in sick this week. And as bad as things have been, I don't feel like this 2-4 is as unredeemable as 2006's 2-4. I don't know why.
On Monday, Dad tried to get StubHub to refund our obstructed view tickets, but they said that because the asshole sender typed "ov" we should have known what that meant. Why did he type OV and not Obstructed View? I think the latter is more revealing, don't you? Then he found out that people where unloading their Eagles tickets for cheap (which will most likely mean a lot of scumsucking Eagles fans further humiliating us on national tv). For an instant, I thought, hey maybe we should go to this game too.
Dad had the opposite reaction: "The thought of enduring the hassels of getting to FedEx on a Monday night etc etc. to witness a depressing and demoralizing blow out of the Redskins is out of the question for me. Honestly, if they gave them away for free, including a parking pass, I still would not want to go. It's simply too demoralizing. By the way, there are still some guys trying to sell section 142 seats for $550 each. I don't think I have ever seen such a huge discrepancy between cheapest to most expensive of premium seats. The cheap sellers are in a full panic, which I fully understand. If you were counting on getting $550, as Warner Wolf used to say: 'Guess what? YOU LOSE.'"
Then Zorn's buddy Steve Largent got into the act, claiming that Cerrato had told Zorn that if he didn't drop his playcalling duties, he'd be fired, but that Zorn is not a quitter so he accepted the ultimatum. Largent said that Snyder has no idea of what he wants in a coach, and added that having Sherm Lewis call the plays is a "joke."
Dad called the situation an "unmitigated disaster," and Steve said he "would say 'wow' - because it really is deplorable what Danny is doing to Zorn and this team - but I had a feeling that's what was going on, that Snyder doesn't want to pay Zorn 6 million to walk, and is making Zorn's life a living hell until he resigns. I really respect Zorn for hanging in there, and I think I'd do the same thing if I were him. Zorn is a bad coach, but he's a good guy it seems, and now I'm rooting for him."
Dad: "My sentiments exactly. He should refuse to fold; he should take Danny for all he can. Snyder is a really bad guy, even worse than I imagined. I have no doubt he is trying to force Zorn to quit and save the money on the contract. What a low life. He makes is so hard to root for the team, like we have been saying the past three weeks. I clearly am rooting AGAINST Danny, but that always comes around to mean i am rooting against the team, which I am not. It's crazy; I want him to fail, but I want the team to win, but if they win, that means he does not fail."
My thoughts are that Snyder is handling having a lousy coach as horribly as an owner could. I think most owners--who had concluded that their coach is not up to the task--would just let it ride out. Meddling like this really can only make things worse most likely. Snyder doesn't understand that unfortunately for all of us.
But hold on--let's not forget why this is happening. Don't forget the half back option on third and goal from 8 yard line against the Rams. Don't forget how predictable and unimaginative and dull the playcalling has been. Snyder is a dick, but Zorn isn't entitled to martyr status either. I don't think Sherm Lewis can do a worse job with the playcalling then Zorn.
This morning, or yesterday, Cerrato came out and promised that Zorn would remain head coach for this season "and hopefully longer." Well that's nice, I think. It puts a kind of ceiling on the constantly escalating shame and embarrassment Redskins fans are feeling, so we have that going for us.
Zorn also announced that Idiot Thomas has taken his rightful spot as #2 WR back from Malcolm Kelly (whom I consider an idiot as well once again). I say why even have a #2 receiver at all. Let's just field 10 players on offense. We'll get the same amount of production and maybe we'll confuse some defenses in the process. Here is a photo of Thomas scoring a touchdown last year vs. the Giants. Tatoo this image to your mind. It may very well not happen again.
As for the Philadelphia Eagles, Jim Zorn kicks Eagle ass. 2-0 last year. They just got embarrassed by the Oakland Raiders which means 1) they are going to be royally pissed and take it out on the Redskins, or 2) the Eagles kind of stink too and we have a shot at winning because the strength of our team is the defensive line. If the defensive line can score 3-4
touchdowns, we may have a chance here.
I'm not going to make any more wishful thinking predictions. Like the Giants game in week 1, I just don't see how we can compete. We need big offensive plays of 20-40-60 yards. If this offense has to count on getting third and shorts for 80 yard drives, we're gonna be lucky to get 6 points.
Ultimately, however, I have a solution that can change our perspectives and alter reality. Not really for the Redskins so much, but for us. So I recommended to my family that during Week 7's Monday night game, we should be drinking beers.
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