So, What Did You Do On Your Bye Week?

Steve's lung collapsed on Wednesday night, Oct. 28. He was finishing a classic Steve workout, and toward the end of a set of crunches, he felt an odd sensation, like he had pulled a really, really important muscle in his chest. After taking a shower, and eating his regular 2 foot high turkey sandwich, he felt out of breath and weak. He thought it might be the swine flu moving rapidly though his body. I told him maybe just show up at Dr. Taubin's office tomorrow morning as I was driving home from basketball.

Maybe an hour or so later, he called me from the emergency room at Sibley hospital. Then he texted me saying his lung collapsed and he was waiting for doctors to perform a procedure: "I have a collapsed lung i'm ok they are gonna do a procedure now."

Me: "Wtf do you need us to come there?"

Steve: "No, im ok"

Joey and I arrived at the ER around midnight or so. I had a panic attack, but I eventually got it together. Steve is and was a tough son of a bitch and was able to handle getting a tube jabbed into him while under local anesthetic, morphine, and some other junk so that his lung could be re-inflated after collapsing into the shape of a mini-football.

The next afternoon, while totally looped up on painkillers, Steve composed the following:

"I am a cocktail.

Toradol every six hours. Oxycontin every twelve hours. Percoset as needed. Jason Campbell needs a lot of Percoset. So do we because just watching him is simply painful. Some would say that he too is a cocktail of disaster. I saw him run up into the pocket with his eyes down the field on Monday night (while I still had two functioning lungs) and I genuinely believe he was And I am all hopped up on drugs and can barely see. In an ideal world, we would have a back up quarterback to provide a spark to the offense, when Campbell suffers from one of his vintage brain and vision farts, but we have none. My prediction is that for next season, Dan Snyder will offer Jim Zorn a lucrative demotion to coach the offense; hire Mike Holmgren to coach and be general manager, and pay Matt Hasselback $40 million to be our starting quarterback for one season. I do not believe we will many games next season.

Perhaps my hospital visit in some twisted way is emblematic of the Washington Redskins this year. Sometimes when things suck, there is a silver lining and there is an opportunity to spend time with and reacquaint with your family. The Redskins could use some time off and should try to make the best of it even if it feels like there’s a big plastic tube in their chest."

On Sunday, Adam and Greg came to visit and watch the Vikings-Packers game and lament the current state of affairs, for Steve, and the Redskins. When one of the teams missed an easy opportunity to intercept a batted ball out of the air, I quickly labeled that a "Redskins interception."

Adam said that he wishes the Skins could get rid of Ladell Betts and Rock Cartwright, and I agreed that Betts is completely useless. He also thought that the next Matt Schaub/Brad Johnson/Jake Delhomme could be the Colts' Jim Sorgi. I totally disagree with that. Adam also thought that if Gruden got hired to coach the Skins, there would be an inevitable ego clash two or three years down the road. I think all the activity from the visitors helped Steve get through a very unpleasant 5 days.

Yeah, you forget about how awful the Redskins are, how this guy can't run a route, how this guy can't block, how you're not gonna see them in the playoffs, etc. when something like this happens. You feel like you're supposed to say to yourself, oh shame on me for caring so much about a silly game, oh where are my priorities. But then you realize, that doesn't make sense. Because its the silly game that brings everyone together to share laughs, and celebrations, strategy, predictions, and pissedoffedness. The silly game is not a small part of the life you make with your family. Everyone throwing up yet? Enough sap for a deluxe pancake breakfast? We love you, little Stevie!

***

Straight from the horse's ass's mouth. Dan Snyder broke his silence on Tuesday the 3rd at some kind of charity thing when he told reporters how bad he feels for the fans. http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/03/AR2009110303492.html

"I feel sorry for the fans. And we're very, very appreciative of our great, loyal fan base. And I'm understanding. I mean, we just feel terrible. We're disappointed, and we're embarrassed. And we hope to get it going soon. We're disappointed."

This unexpected communication was followed by the Redskins' announcement that they would be circulating a questionnaire to get feedback from ticket holders about their feelings on the team, the direction the team is headed, the experience at the stadium, etc. I kind of feel bad for the employees who are going to have to sift through the answers. Its gonna be like a man who just regained his hearing going to a Metallica concert and standing right next to the largest speaker tower in the arena.