JACKED UP!
I saw some really weird shit on Sunday before the game started. I woke up around 9 or so and went down to the gym for a workout. It was perfect weather, and it seemed like my fellow Cleveland Parkers were excited about spending a day outside, going for strolls, not worrying about the Redskins.
On the way home, I was waiting to cross Connecticut when a bag lady pushing a cart interrupted my listening to the Julian Casablancas album.
Bag Lady: Excuse me, do you have the time?
Me: Its 10:15
Bag Lady: What?!
Me (yelling): Its 10:15!
Bag Lady: Thank you, you have a nice--
Me: Whoa!
Huge effing deer runs across Connecticut and up Devonshire. Not running, more like getting in a leisurely morning jog.
After doing a little cleaning, I felt sleepy, probably from the weird warm weather, and walked down to 7-Eleven to get a soda. Waiting in line was the tall cross dressing dude who wears pretty dresses on his walk to the Metro. But today he was sporting a 1980s hair metal video blue miniskirt for all the young, beautiful children going to the zoo to have nightmares about. I almost threw up and pretended I was shopping for potato chips so I wouldn't have to stand in line next to it.
I expressed my dismay, but Joey wasn't interested in it, and suggested that I take a nap.
Steve came by the condo around 12:50, with his usual 3 inch high turkey sandwich on wheat bread and 2 apples. Way too much fiber, dude, way too much.
4 plays in, on third and 11, Orton had all day in the pocket. Brandon Marshall stutter stepped and Carlos Rogers bit hard, like a pit bull on Thanksgiving. It was such a terrible bite that Marshall probably was wide open by about 20 yards when he caught it. Rogers was benched for Smoot.
Refreshingly and surprisingly, the Redskins offense answered right back with mostly runs from Betts and Cartwright. On one play, Cartwright ran left and made a sweet cut back that went for 17 yards. "That's what I'm talking about! . . . . . I hate when people say that, why did I just say that. I hadn't been talking about that at all so it makes no sense," I rambled. Another nice play was a pass to Sleepy Davis who ran from the middle to up the right sideline to get inside the 10.
On third and goal, Campbell faked an end around hand off to Moss, then rolled right, and fired the ball to Yoder for the touchdown. 7-7.
The o-line today had Levi Jones (who was previously stuck behind Heyer and Williams for no reason that was clear to me) at left tackle and Rinehart (who seems to help get the running game going when he is in despite team treating him like he is super duper bad) back at RG.
The Broncos' Moreno had a big run on the next drive, but after Landry "olay-ed" on a tackle near the sideline, Moreno got excited, cut back into the middle, and got hit hard from behind by defensive tackle Lorenzo Alexander (big props to Alexander for hustling downfield) and fumbled, recovered by Doughty. However, the Skins went 3 and out. Orton went back to pass on first down, and Dan Dierdorf raised play by play announcing voice, meaning we were in deep shit. We were, because DeAngelo Hall and LaRon Landry both went, "You got him!" and Brandon Marshall was left all alone for a second deep touchdown pass.
"What the *$#@!!!!"
Campbell had a great chance to answer this one. Moss bolted down the left sideline, and Dierdorf raised his voice. But the ball was overthrown. I threw a mini-tantrum by walking into the dining area and cursing. I may have also thrown my Nats hat on the floor. On the next Broncos drive, following a punt, Eddie Royal got wide open deep/Dierdorf raised voice. Oh, no, we're totally effed. But the throw went a little too far, and we caught our first big break.
Then, we FAKED THE FAKE
The next drive stalled at the Bronco 35. It was 4th and 20 thanks to an intentional grounding penalty on a throw where Todd Yoder was crazy wide open in the middle of the field and Campbell never looked straight ahead to see him.
Sleepy Davis didn't know what was going on, so they had 10 men on the field and called a timeout after Suisham had split out wide and Smith had walked toward the center, but it seemed like it would be a quick kick. Because of this, Denver had zero reason to be caught off guard by the razzamatazz tomfoolery. But they still were, because we didn't just fake, we faked the fake.
After the commercial, I think they lined up for the field goal again, and but then shifted like before. They snap to Hunter Smith who rolls all the way right and is looking for Davis and another receiver who are covered. Meanwhile, Sellers snuck toward the left, running alongside the offensive line, and then deep left. Hunter Smith pumps hard to the right, and then throws all the way back to the left. Touchdown, Mike Sellers!
The Broncos answered with a pretty solid drive from Orton, who completed a bunch of short/mid range passes. The Skins finally stopped the drive around 10 yard line when Orakpo took Orton down on third and goal--but no only down, but out, because he came down hard on Orton's ankle. This was arguably the
most important play of the game. Denver hit the field goal at the end of the half to make it 17-14.
Throughout the game--actually for about 11 hours on Sunday, Joey sat on the brown chair with a blanket and her laptop monitoring Team Awesome's progress. She was happy she decided not go play Mike Wallace, and ended up winning her match.
Simms' first drive of the second half sputtered despite keeping the ball for 5 minutes. The Skins first drive stalled again in no man's land. I begged, pleaded for the skins to kick the field goal, which would have tied the game.
Steve said, no, we gotta go for the the win. I said, I know, we gotta go for the win and kick the field goal. Instead, they ran to the right with Cartwright. A linebacker field the gap, turning the play into a stretch play, and Brian Dawkins finished it off with a tackle. It was another I can't believe this fucking shit play in 2009. Steve yelled, why can't they ever just do a QB sneak!? But they've never done it even though Campbell is a big dude.
The defense finally stepped up, however--big time, by forcing a 3 and out with a sack by Carter and Orakpo. ORAKPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The next Skins drive started at the nine, but they methodically moved it downfield with some nice runs by Betts, who really seemed to have a much better feel for where and when to hit the seems in the line, and a nice grab by Malcolm Kelly. The red zone playcalling was extremely conservative, but tht was fine with me because Suisham hit the 30 yard field goal to tie it up.
Poor Chris Simms. After a first down, he found himself with a nice pocket, and chucked it deep to Brandon Marshall who was covered by Landry. Then we saw Hall kind of timing his steps like he was going up for a slam dunk or a high jump, and he snatched the interception in the end zone, returning it to the 30.
More methodical movement, with runs from Betts and Cartwright,
and a pass to Randle El, who has absolutely no confidence in his speed. After he caught his pass in the middle he could have kept moving laterally, but he instead he stopped in his tracks and barely picked up the first down fighting through a tackle.
The highlight play was from Idiot Thomas on a third and 3 from the 33 on a smoke route. He caught it, cut inside, did stop-fake, did a spin move throwing off 2 guys, and then stiff armed 2 more guys to get it inside the 10. Thank you, idiot. Great work (no sarcasm).
Betts took it in on 3rd and goal from the 1, getting hit, and lunging for the touchdown. I slapped Steve 5 so hard that he winced in pain from the pulling on his stitches. Oops, sorry.
4 incomplete passes later, the Skins had the ball back with a minute or two left. They played it safe, and kicked a field goal to give 10 point lead. Game over.
Feels great to win. It doesn't feel like 3-6 even though that is exactly what it is. The Cowboys lost to Green Bay and the Eagles lost to San Diego. So guess what? That means its time to figure out where we are in the playoff race, of course.
2 games behind the #6 seat which is New York, Philadelphia, and Atlanta (actually 3 behind them because of the tie breaker). Obviously, losses against NY and Phil. would be backbreakers, but losses to anyone would be backbreakers, so who cayyyahs.
Now, Dallas week.
Ladell Betts: Please accept my apology for saying that you were completely useless. I think you are good.
And finally, Joey was able to put her joy and pride for Team Awesome into song for a Team Awesome fight song.
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