This Happened

That Was Quick: Eagles 34, Redskins 10

See you in September.  Or at the draft in April, when things might get kind of fun.

Some questions to ponder:

1.  Our best player is 36 year old middle linebacker London Fletcher.  Is he coming back?

2.  Is Rex going to start with us next year?

3.  Can we sign Matt Flynn and then draft a WR or OT?

4.  Will RGIII slide to us at #6?

5.  Is LaRon Landry (aka I don't care that you just got a first down) worth a contract extension?  Dude is built for magazine covers, not necessarily 16 games of NFL football.

6.  Will Cheech and Chong be able to straighten up?

7.  Do we have the luxury of upgrading the secondary, which really kind of sucks?

Jeez, Rebuilding is Hard: Vikings 33, Redskins 26

I thought we were winning this game and were going to win this one.  The offense was acting like a team that is going to win--another rookie running back (Evan Royster) running for over 100 and Rex throwing touchdown passes in the red zone--good symptoms for a win.

But the defense was just terrible.

Oh well, it was cool to just hang out with the RClub.  Anyway, 5-10.  One more to go.

Only one NFC East team can make the playoffs, and that team will be relatively lousy.  That is what it takes to have a successful Redskins season these days.

Shanahan admitted in his press conference that he is surprised how hard it is to get this team turned around.  That's funny because us fans are kind of surprised generally by how bad the Shanahan era has under-delivered. 

He said he was surprised by our 10 year problem with quality depth (what the hell are these guys seeing when they look up and down a roster list) and thought there were some players on the roster that they would be able to keep around a little longer than they did.  Like who?  Casey Rabach? 

Pass me that Broom, Antrel Rolle: Redskins 23, Giants 10

After the Redskins beat NY in week 1, cornerback Antrel Rolle said that the two teams played 100 times, the Giants would win 95 times. 

 “If they’re going to win 95 out of 100, they’ve got to get started. They’d better get started winning some games real fast,’’ Barry Cofield said. 

Oh, snap.  Yeah, it feels good to finally SWEEP the Giants for the first time since 1999.  Rex Grossman got his interceptions out of the way early, Kyle Shanahan committed to the running game to make play action work, and the secondary picked Eli off thrice.  The Giants dropped a lot of passes, but that's their fault.

1 out of 4 is Bad: Patriots 34, Redskins 27

Some observations:

In the 12 years that Snyder has owned the team, the Redskins have made the playoffs 3 times.  1 out of 4.

Don't just do something.  Stand there!  The Redskins are 16-36 since Hall joined the team in November 2008. He's a good player--not great--but he's kind of a bum as a teammate, and he hates tackling.

Fed Ex Flop.  Why must we have the only stadium that necessarily has a fan of the other team when one of our guys scores and tries to jump in the stands?  And if people love New England so much, they are so so so free to get on a bus and go back there!

Tom Brady is, for lack of a better term, is a diva-bitch.  One of the greatest ever, sure, but he would be just as comfortable in a Broadway green room screaming about the wrong colored M&Ms as he is in the NFL.  Touch me, and I'll sue!  Touch me, and I'll sue!

Friendly Fire: Jets 34, Redskins 19

Early December.  Its kind of a weird time of the year.  Its not really fall anymore, and things are just starting to get all Christmas-y.   

It reminds of a Sean Lennon album I bought 5 years ago called Friendly Fire.  It’s a beautifully bitter-bittersweet album about a terrible breakup he endured.  His girlfriend cheated on him with his best childhood friend, who then bought it in a motorcycle accident before they could confront each other.   

I like listening to it every early December because that’s around the time the Redskins completely snuff out their own season through incompetence, foolishness, arrogance, and sloppyness.  There are so many great lines from that album that make me think about either my relationship with the Redskins or just the Redskins generally:

• Dead meat, you just messed with the wrong team

• In the end you’re gonna learn, you’ll get what you deserve

• You had to bring me down, we had some fun before we hit the ground

• You’re always such a spectacle, you said you would but you never will change

• Today can we pretend its not too late?

• Stay away, I’m not myself, no one can help me now…

You know, I don’t care that they lost to the Jets.  They just gave it all away so cavalierly.  They took the lead midway through the 4^th quarter.  And then Graham Gano pops up his kickoff, the upback returns the ball to midfield, and that was that.  A few players later, Sanchez through his longest past of the day for sluggo touchdown.  3 or 4 players later, Rex holds the ball too long, gets sacked, and the Jets takeover.  All of a sudden, we go from winning in the 4^th quarter to losing by two scores.  

And now, Sleepy Davis and Trent Williams are going to be suspended for smoking weed.  But they didn’t just smoke weed.  They smoked weed after being caught multiple times in drug tests and were warned that they couldn’t do it anymore or they would get in trouble.  But then, they smoked some more weed!  Selfish and stupid.

On the other hand, getting high kind of is a viable option playing on a team like this regardless of the consequences.

You Play to Win the Game. Helu!? Redskins 23, Seahawks 17

Trailing 17-7, Roy Helu took a pitch to the left, high jumped over a guy, landed, and then busted through another dude, and ran down the sideline into the end zone.  Several minutes later, on 3rd and 19, Rex Grossman stepped up in the pocket and chucked it deep to Anthony Armstrong who overcame a pass interference penalty to haul in the winning touchdown.

The win brought us to 4-7.  It felt good to win.  Winning is good.  Winning is the point.  It literally makes me feel a little better about everything to win.  A 2 month-plus losing streak is not good for the soul.  Ending it is good.

And so we hurt our draft status for the time being.  Some fans are devastated by this aspect of the victory.  Seriously?

You want your team to lose 12 games in a row so you can earn the opportunity to draft a 21 year old speculation?  You want to lose so you can get JaMarcus Russel, Ryan Leaf, Jimmy Clausen, Tim Couch, Akili Smith, Joey Harrington, Andre Ware, David Klingler, or Heath Shuler?  Look 'em all up.  A high draft pick is a wonderful thing until you realize how speculative the whole thing is after the fact.

You can also be a good team, try hard, win, and get Aaron Rodgers late in the 1st round, Tom Brady in the 6th round, or Drew Brees in the 2nd round.

So, as nice as Matt Barkley might look in Redskins jersey, no, I'm not going to root for the Jets this Sunday.  I'm a Redskins fan.

Whatever: Cowboys 27, Redskins 24 OT

Yawn.

No One Likes a Tease: Dolphins 20, Redskins 9

I finally figured out why people hate Rex Grossman.  Its not that he's a terrible quarterback, because he's not.  He can and has performed at a very high level throughout his career.  Even this season for the now 3-6 Washington Redskins.

Yet, fans, commentators, and probably coaches and players hate him with a passion because he is a tease.  He is Lucy the field goal holder.

20 yard crossing route to Gafney?  Nice!  15 yard out to Davis?  Hmm, pretty good!!  30 yard post pattern to Hankerson? Whoa, Sweet!!!  Interception in the redzone after staring at the primary receiver for nearly 4 seconds to ruin the chance to take the lead in the 4th quarter?

Damn it!  Damn it, Rex, you son of a bitch.  I'll jump into the television and strangle you!

We didn't even know Rex was going to play.  Shanahan decided to start him at the last second.  What a mess Shanahan has made of this team.  There is no identity, and no sense of what the Redskins' short term and longterm mission is.  Shanny said younger guys are playing because the older guys are injured.  So is it a rebuild or not?  What was the purpose of 2010?  What is the purpose of 2011?

In the French Connection, the two detectives find the car they're looking for that's supposed to be full of heroine.  They strip it down a little, taking off doors and seats and fabric.  No drugs.  They decide they've got to go further, tear it down, strip it down even further in order to achieve their objective.  Nuts, bolts, metal strips come flying off.  The car is slowly and painstaking unravelled and taken apart, and finally they find the drugs.

I'm hoping Shanahan is doing this to the Redskins.  Tear down to build up.  Way down.  Otherwise, he is hiding his complete cluelessness for the time being.

Shanny Makes This Entry Easy: 49ers 19, Redskins 11

I love doing this blog.  Its kind of fun, but I'm also pretty busy.  So, thanks to Mike Shanahan for making my 1000 word picture.

Beck is terrible.  He only follows one receiver.  He can't recognize the deep routes.  Roy Helu caught 14 super short passes, which broke Art Monk's single game record.  How depressing is that?

Shanahan talked a lot about getting young guys reps, which is as close to saying "rebuild" as its going to get.

I feel bad for London Fletcher.  He shouldn't have to deal with this kind of situation.

And going 3-1 followed by a precipitous drop to 3-5 really sucks, and it sucks even worse because it happened before in 2003.  8 years ago, the 3-5 Skins hosted Seattle, and kept their season alive by doing crazy stuff like going for 4th down at our own 25, and running wide receiver screen option pass to win it.  Sadly, I don't think similar super-desperate acts would work for this 2011 team.

This Team Sucks: Bills 23, Redskins 0

When babies get their diaper changed, sometimes the fresh air prompts pee.  We started calling it "surprise pee" because it wasn't supposed to happen post-old diaper, pre-new diaper.  But after a while, we realized its just going to happen, no matter how hard you try to rush the transfer.  And you just look down at that cute, smiley face, and you say, "OK, that's OK!  We'll just get you a new one."

The Washington Redskins surprise pee all over the field, all over the fans, all over Toronto, Canada, all over the world.  They don't know any better.  We have to just say, OK, that's OK.  We'll just try again next week.

They can't pass block, they can't run, they can't throw, they can't catch, they can't tackle, they can't sack, they can't cover, they can't kick field goals, they can't return punts and kicks.  Usually, losing feels bad because at some point you had something to be hopeful about.  Maybe it was scoring first, or maybe it was 0-0 at the end of the first quarter. Yesterday, hopes didn't show up at all.

"Here's an old joke - um... two elderly women are at a Catskill mountain resort, and one of 'em says, 'Boy, the food at this place is really terrible.' The other one says, 'Yeah, I know; and such small portions.'"

This is the Redskins. Our players are terrible, and we need so many more of them.  We had 1 backup guard that was active against Philly two weeks ago.  When Lichtensteiger got hurt, we had to add guards from the practice squad.  Totally ridiculous.  We needed Dante Stallworth, but not backup guards?   

Young Guns II

I guess the future is now?  By accident?  Grossman, Moss, Cooley, Hightower are out.  In comes Beck, Austin, Hankerson, Paul, Torain.  Can they get it done, though?  Like the other Washington team?

Sulk: Panthers 33, Redskins 20.

 That feelin' goes stealin' down to my shoes
While I sit and sigh, "Go 'long blues"

Why must there always be a problem?--George Costanza

The good lady wife says there is no time to sulk.  There's bottles to clean and whatnot.  I say, look, I'm a Washington Redskins fan.  I'm gonna sulk.  Oh, yeah, I'm gonna sulk big time.  There's gonna be sulking up in here.

We have John Beck as QB.  Two starting linemen out.  Hightower, out. Moss and Cooley, out. Fletecher, out. Should we be cutting this team real slack, and we're just not capable of it?  Nationals fans cut the Nats slack.  Are we incapable of cutting the Skins a reasonable amount of slack?

Why can't we recover a damn fumble when our guys around the loose ball at the goal line outnumber their guys 3-1?  When Orakpo runs into Cam Newton's back at full speed, why doesn't the ball pop out?  What's the deal, physics?!  This is bullshit!  Dude has a mere four fingers on the ball--his helmet is about to fly off!

Stephen Bowen and Brian Orakpo both took the blame, as a defense, for the loss.  Damn right.   Its supposed to be a turnover causing defense.  With 4 linebackers, you give up some rushing yards, but you gain speed when rushing the passer from the outside, and you create more opportunities to double and triple up on ball carriers, which is supposed to knock the ball loose.  8 turnovers in 6 games is terrible, and its particularly terrible when the defense knows that the offense stinks.

John Beck played pretty well at times.  If he plays that well or a little better, the team can win some games.  But holy crap, Kyle Shanahan, give him a chance.  Why have a shotgun formation on every single third down?  So damn stupid.  Have you ever played poker before?

3-3.  Not the end of the world, and I refuse to be all "resigned" and go "same ol' Redskins."  I will not do that.  I will not do that until Mid-November, OK?  We're gonna kick the Bills' ass.  No.  Its going to be really weird.  But we're gonna win 26-20.

Finally, our new official RClub photographer took some great shots. 

Pop Goes the World: Eagles 20, Redskins 13

I told you (all of 2-3 of you?) that Rex Grossman was a highly unstable element that needed to be handled very carefully.  I think I compared him to a moderately trained puppy--he can sit, he can stay...but if you leave the door open a crack, he's gonna run out, spring down the street, and look for squirrels to bark at.  It would be to the dog owner (Kyle Shanahan) to keep that door shut, so to speak, by calling high percentage plays for him and committing to the running game.

People on the radio or internet are saying hats off to the defense.  I could not disagree more.  The defense made it impossible to win this game.  The Redskins offense is not built to come from behind often.  It worked against Arizona, but Rex is a highly unstable element, and it is incumbent upon the defense to keep the team in the game or make plays to keep it close so the Redskins can continue to run.


They never tried to establish the run?  How can you keep trying to run when you are down by 14 and 17 in the second quarter?   That is on the defense.

But yeah.  Rex Grossman's interceptions were horrible.  The first one kind of acted like a punt, but the third one eliminated a golden opportunity to pull within 7 midway through the 3rd quarter.  The last one was a big middle finger to the concept of "taking care of the football."

We knew what Rex was, though.  We knew it when the Skins got him last year, we knew it when he won the job this year.  I'm not saying he should definitely keep his job, but the fans and media should remember this in their wild eruptions of rage.  You can't really get that mad when a tiny puppy craps on the carpet.

So the drama continues, and we we enter into the John Beck era.  If he throws 0 interceptions, 0 touchdowns, but he gets the Skins 175 yards, some field goals, and a running game, they can beat Carolina, get to 4-2, and get back into first place.

Sweep the Leg

The Eagles are reeling.  They are killing themselves out there with bad coaching, turnovers, poor pass protection, and terrible defensive scheming.  They are 1-4 and their season is on the line.  A division win against Washington gets them to 2-4 and within 1.5 games of first place in the NFC East.  A loss, and their lofty expectations and hopes for the 2011 season become nearly impossible.  They are desperate.

In Mike Tyson's Punchout, there was a character called Great Tiger that you had to fight.As wikipedia accurately explains, he can become intangible and spin around the ring at high speeds while punching Little Mac--the so-called "Magic Punch." However, if Little Mac succeeds in blocking this barrage, the spinning leaves Great Tiger dizzy, and he can be sent to the mat with one punch to the face.  The moment is fleeting--Great Tiger kind of stands there making a weird laughing sound, and you have one second to roundhouse him to the floor.


The Eagles are Great Tiger and they are standing there doing that weird laugh.  Its time to hit select+A or select+B or whatever it was.  And knock the dude the eff out.

All Aboard Choo Choo (Ryan Torain Train Etc.) Redskins 17, Rams 10

We won the game.  We were up 17-0 because of a relentless pass rush that yielded 7 total sacks.  Kerrigan and Orakpo were just tearing it up.  The running game was crushing it, particularly because Ryan Torain jumped into the lineup and started wrecking dudes, hitting the open holes in perfect rhythm.

The Rams jumped back into the game after a Rex Grossman interception that was not his fault, and then almost tied the game because of an interception that was his fault.

Rex Grossman is like plutonium.  At this point, you can't blame plutonium for being so potentially harmful. It is not plutonium's fault. After all this time and knowledge and experience, it is up to humankind to take to proper precautions to make sure plutonium is handled carefully and respectfully. 

Its time for Kyle Shanahan to put on a protective suit and handle the plutonium with requisite care.  That means understanding that you can say eff it, I'm going deep in the first or second quarter, but it means you can't say that in a close game in the second half when momentum is hanging in the balance.

This Is Not a Trap! The Rams Are Not Inferior!

No, its not, Admiral Ackbar. Why don't you do a little more planning on that Endor Special-Ops mission and a little less belittling of the 0-3 St. Louis Rams.

Calling it a trap game assumes that the Redskins are so, so, good, and the Rams are just crrrrap.  Why would anyone think that?  The Rams, literally, cannot sneak up on us.  Look up "sneak" in the dictionary.  Its not possible.

2008:  Rams 19, Redskins 17
2009:  Redskins 9, Rams 7 (the worst feeling win ever, arguably)
2010:  Rams 30, Redskins 16

LaVar Arrington: this is a game you're supposed to get.

Bullshit, dude.  Don't say that.  The Redskins must assume the highest of assumptions.  They must put the Rams on platinum jewel-encrusted pedestal.  Otherwise, its going to be a crappy punch in the stomach on Sunday again.

You Blew It!: Cowboys 18, Redskins 16

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqPRwq3QJsk

You were offered a chance to be 3-0, beat the Bama Cowboys on Monday Night Football, and you blew it.  YOU BLEW IT.

Romo was in too much pain to breathe much, his center snapped the ball at-will (of course we never recovered any of the fumbles), and the wide receivers didn't know where to run, but you blew it, Redskins coaches, you blitzed on third and a million, and you couldn't run the g-damn ball.

And Rex Grossman?  You are a friggin' horror movie.  You can only watch him peeking through the hand that his covering your eyes in sheer terror.

Without a strong running game, Rex Grossman is not going to be that great.  And by not great, I mean extremely dangerous.  Hightower couldn't get more than 2 or 3 yards a carry, so as the game went on, the play action to set up downfield passes became less and less effective.  By the end of the game, DeMarcus Ware was in the backfield ruining everything.  Grossman had 1 terrible interception, but could have had at least 2 more.


And Jim Haslett, why blitz on 3rd and 21?  Why?  We're not asking for loser-prevent defense--we're asking for normal defense.  If you give up a 16 yard pass there--that's OK!  Because 21 - 16 = 5.  Get it, Jim?  The defense kept the Cowboys out of the end zone, but we're talking about hospital bed Romo.  He could not go downfield.  His fragile state must have crept into their subconscious because they did not pummel and pound him into Romo bits.  It reminds me of that scene in Swingers--"How am I supposed to kill the bunny.  With these claws!?  How?"  They didn't destroy Romo because that would have been the obvious thing to do.

3rd and 21.  Here's the dialogue that went through my head in the 2 seconds before the ball was snapped and the ball got into Romo's hands:

How much time is going to be left when they punt it....how many timeouts...no, no, no its Romo on ESPN oh shit...shit....shit.....

So 2-1 feels like kind of crap. 

Sometimes People Let Their Babies Grow Up to Be Cowboys Fans

Dear Young Child of Mine,

One day, you are going to be hanging out with your friends at school or at day camp or on the playground.  Its going to be a beautiful day.  The sun will be shining, a slight breeze in the air, low humidity. And some jerk will say, "no way, its lousy!"  Someone will wear all orange on "Wear Green Day."  During quiet study time, someone will jump up on their desk and scream, "hey teacher! teacher!  look at me.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh."

That damaged soul is a Cowboys fan.  A poisoned, screwed up, attention-starved, pathological, contrarian, ignorant, front-running, shiny object following, weak-minded, disloyal, shifty, cowardly, underhanded, lazy, obnoxious, uncouth, uneducated, illiterate, slovenly Dallas Cowboys fan.  You may pity the Dallas Cowboys fan, but you need not tolerate, accept, or respect the Dallas Cowboys fan. 

This knowledge is yours for the journey.  Love,

Dad


HAIL TO THE REDSKINS!

Well, What Do We Have Here? Redskins 22, Cardinals 21

Seriously, what do we have here?

A team that was firing on all cylinders offensively, then started turning the ball over and having kicks blocked, then recovered and took the lead, then blew it by letting the opponent's best player get wide open for a long bomb touchdown, then rallying for two scoring drives late in the 4th quarter to win by one point.

Everyone's saying we would have lost this game last year.  I'm not so sure about that.  Some people and things get used to dysfunction and drama, and need it, like Ricky Bobby's dad in that Will Ferrell movie who couldn't resist starting a fight in an Appleby's once everything seemed to fall into place.  The dysfunctional Redskins won some of these crazy games because they had become used to craziness, and then would get blown out 80-13 the next week.

But when they won those crazy games, it took crazy stuff to get points, like when DeAngelo Hall stripped Tashard Choice and scored on the last play of the first half in Week 1 last year; or the offense would score on the first drive and then shut it down, and then count on long punt returns, interceptions, and field goals to squeak by.

This year's offense, at least with regard to first downs and yardage, plays 4 quarters, and they get first downs with young running backs, long throws downfield, and conversions on third and long.

Historically, when the Redskins have taken the opening kickoff, moved it down to the red zone methodically, and then thrown a terrible noodle armed indecisive pick at the goal line blowing a chance at easy points, its a psychological burden that lingers.  Everyone is thinking we should have more points now, if only....  Like Seinfeld said, its a big matzoh ball hanging out there.

It was 10-7 at the half following another Sleepy Davis touchdown, but everyone was still thinking about those other points that got away.

With the score 14-13, Kolb rolled to his right, planted, and released deep a split second before he got crushed from behind.  And there he was, Larry Fitzgerald, only the absolute best player in the stadium that no one should ever lose track of, wide open and running into the end zone. 

But Rex came right back.  We all agreed Rex was not going to be afraid.  He's not the type of person who worries about his hand after he's burned it on the stove.

On 4th and 3, he decided not to throw to the wide open guy in the flat, and opted to go for it all.  Moss scored, and they eventually went on to win after Bryon Westbrook caused a fumble on the Cardinals' last drive.

So we're 2-0, which is awesome, but despite all the buzz, the Cardinals game doesn't feel like we've really turned the page.  Its going to take a decisive victory against Dallas for that to happen.